God did not come to make our lives better, (but He always does, because He is so good. But ‘better’ may not come in the package or via the means we expect.) He came to give us a totally new life, in Him.
Jesus is very clear that to gain our life, we must lose it. And that as we give we receive. And as we go low, we are exalted. It is all topsy turvy in the kingdom of God, in the best way.
The quote ‘God came to end you and not to mend you’ may sound harsh, but it is actually deeply freeing. Ultimate healing and freedom isn’t in patching up ‘the old man’ (our old self pre-salvation’) but in fully dying to our old self and being resurrected to NEW life in Christ.
When I say ‘old you’ I don’t mean all the God-given bits of who you were when you were a wild and free twenty year old. Or your hobbies, or passions. I mean your carnal self - the un-renewed, fleshy, ego self, that is really not worth holding onto!
“The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.” Romans 8:7-9
The bible says we are dead in our sins until we receive Christ. So when we die to self, or ‘put off the old man’ it is the self that is at enmity with God. The un-renewed mind and the unrepentant heart.
“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts.” Ephesians 2:1-3
Full immersion baptism symbolises going down into a watery grave - old you dying - and rising to new life, fully cleansed, made new and one with Christ.
Die quickly and quietly!!! Don’t try and hold on to your rights, your life, who you once where, your agenda. Surrender it all to Jesus and let Him take the reins. If you have received Jesus as you Lord and Saviour, your life is no longer your own! You have been bought at a great price and your life is in the safest hands possible - those of your maker.
This can seem scary, but when grasped it is incredibly freeing. It can feel scary if you don’t think God is a good father and thus it’s better if you carry on running things. But if you truly know and trust God’s nature, you would give everything faster than I can say ‘Jesus’!
In the West we can often fall into the trap of having God as an addition to our life. An extra on the side, that doesn’t have to disrupt too much of our life, we will give him Sundays and maybe Wednesday evenings, but we decide the rest.
In countries where believers risk being killed upon professing Jesus as their saviour, they know what it is to let go of their old life and give everything to the Lord. No wonder they are experiencing miracles, revivals, salvations and visions…
When you give Jesus everything, you get way more in return. But you have to trust Him!!!
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What do you dream of? Do you dream of just what you think is possible? Or are you dreams seemingly impossible. What do you think God is dreaming of for you?
Wouldn’t life be so much easier if someone told you what to do all the time?!
When I was younger I really didn’t want to grow up. I thought being an adult was a terrible idea and responsibility sounded like some sort of punishment. I wanted to be like Peter Pan and was very content with other people making decisions for me.
Praise God, He has set me free to know and embrace the joys of adulthood. But still at times I cry out ‘God just tell me what to do!!!’ With running a business there can be so many decisions to make and what if I am doing it all wrong?! I sometimes long for someone to look over my shoulder and give me the step my step instructions.
Recently I have been strengthening myself in God with the reminder I AM NOT ALONE. I am not doing I Am So Many Things alone. I have the Lord with me and He is the best CEO, the most creative Creative Director and the most trustworthy accountant I could ever hope for. He is the shepherd, I am the sheep and I hear His voice. I lack no good thing!
Yes He brings the right people at the right time and supplies all of my needs according to His glorious riches. But most importantly, He never leaves me.
When we have Jesus we are NEVER ALONE and we lack no good thing.
Pray with me; Jesus thank you that you never leave or forsake me. Thank you that i do not need to be afraid, for YOU are with me and you know best. I give you every area of loneliness and I thank you that you are my comforter, my friend and my lover. Help me know you in this way. I give you every area that needs direction and I thank you that you are the shepherd and you are leading and guiding me. Please open my ears to hear you, my eyes to see you and give me a heart to trust and follow you, wherever you say to go. Amen.
Do you struggle to know how to approach God? Is ‘quiet time’ a daunting prospect? Do you feel you need to tick some sort of box for a successful ‘time with the Lord’ and often feel like you fail?
I used to avoid time with God because I was worried about ‘not doing it right’. I had weird expectations and patterns of performance, that made ‘quiet time’ a stressful strive-fest and thoroughly unappealing.
The more I have come to know who God is, how He sees me and who I am in Him, the more I have longed to spend time with Him and the easier it is to come to Him without self consciousness.
Dom said something beautifully freeing the other day ‘God loves our awkwardness’. Again this dealt a blow to the last vestiges of performance and striving and again, led me to joyfully run to Jesus.
Embrace the awkwardness with God. Come as you are. He loves you.
Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich
When I was 16 I headed off to boarding school for a couple of years. It was my choice to do so and I was really excited, but as I arrived, boy did I feel alone, vulnerable and needy.
The saving grace was that in the months before, I had met with God in a powerful way and was learning to hear His voice. I knew I needed him more than ever if i was going to survive and thrive in this new place! The two girls in my dorm had their own issues going on - so meeting with God there wasn’t an option. So I would pull on my wellies and head out, rain or shine, to walk in the fields for an hour before everyone got up. It was GLORIOUS! I met with God in such a tender way day after day and the fruit of those two years was pretty awesome. A group of us ran an Alpha course and many people turned back to God. Furthermore I had a built a legacy with God of knowing Him as my comforter and safest place.
If you are feeling lonely today, if you have started a new school or new job and feel out of your depth and afraid, if you are longing to be in a relationship but aren’t yet…. you have an incredible opportunity right in front of you, to come to know God in a whole new way.
I wouldn’t be who I am today, had I not built that intimate relationship with God at the tender age of 16.
Every trial we face is an opportunity to know God more. How awesome is that! Let not your heart be hardened or embittered by circumstances that you wish were different, but cling to God with everything you have got and let him transform you.
Love Thea x
With Jesus we are never alone.
And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age - Matthew 28:20
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave or forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. - Hebrews 12
How many of you have heard the phrase ‘Jack of all trades, master of none? How many of you have had that spoken over you or spoken it over yourself?
For years I was told that it was a problem that I was good at many different things. Luckily I didn’t really believe it. But it was discouraging. It took doing a Christian business course for this mantra to be broken. The precious people leading it - thank you Simon and Marian Middleton and Mike Sokitoras - saw me prophetically as well as in the natural and were able to see legitimate value and business potential in my bizarre mix of giftings. It was deeply healing and empowered me to do what I am doing today with I Am So Many Things.
To all of you with an eclectic mix of gifts, who aren’t sure quite how they fit… I want to encourage you that God made you just right - with just the right gifts for the job he has for you to do. You are HIS masterpiece - intricately and purposefully woven. Not one bit is by mistake.
So shake off all the ‘master of none’ nonsense and dance in the joyous freedom that you are a master of many and are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I would not be able to do what I do now if I didn’t like art AND maths AND public speaking AND modelling AND photography AND meeting people AND systems AND creativity, plus plus plus. For many years it didn’t make sense, but with hindsight things are always a lot clearer.
So hold on in there. God has a purpose and a plan in the unique way that He made you and none of it is by mistake. Follow him with your whole heart and you will walk into the plans He has for you.
Love Thea x
Guess who's back, back again
Tell your friends!
Thank you to everyone who has waited so patiently for this reprint. We wanted to redesign the cover and I procrastinated for too long. Aaaah. But we got there in the end and now it is with us. Hopefully in time for some September glory for you and your small group, friends or family.
All of the innards of the course are the same (bar a few amended typos!) but the big difference is the ‘Design-your-own’ cover.
My favourite lesson at school was always art. I loved sitting next to my friends as we made things. The type of conversation that flows, while you hands are busy and your eyes are elsewhere, is quite unlike anything else. I love the pressure-off meandering of thoughts that bubble up, confessions, ideas.
For this reason, we wanted to make room for this type of experience within the True Identity Course. We have left lots of white space on the front cover, so that around the centrepiece of the gold crown - a mark of your royal identity - you have space to craft your own front cover.
Add an extra session to the end of the course, where you call sit around and create and play! Decorate your course book cover, in response to all that you have learnt during the course and enjoy the space for thoughts, reflections and confessions to bubble up, while the seeds of truth sown settle into your heart and mind.
Once you get started, there will be no stopping you, so make sure to have your True Identity Notebook close to hand or some spare paper, so that you can let the creative juices flow!
Have you got niggles, aches and pains? Do you feel afraid of sickness? Do you find yourself googling symptoms and getting in a tizz? Are you struggling with the ageing process?
I am currently pregnant with our fourth child, which is a great joy and privilege. But growing a human is no small feat and can come with its own host of anxieties. However, God’s word over worry and fear is quite clear! We are to turn from it and cast our cares on Him.
Faith isn’t denying that a problem exists, but denying it a place of influence over your heart, mind and life. God doesn’t ask us to bury our heads in the sand, but does invite us to believe and know that His word is more true than some ‘facts’, symptoms or diagnoses that daunt or even, torment us.
In the face of all sorts of scary symptoms, we can stand on the word of God that He is good, sickness, disease and pain were all dealt with at the cross and we CAN receive fullness of healing and health through Christ.
Below is a video of a whole bunch of healing scriptures being read aloud. If you are in any sort of battle or fear over health, I encourage you to listen to them again and again. Let your mind be renewed. Let your thoughts be filled with the word of God and let it breed faith and displace fear.
Whenever fear has really come to call over my life or someone else’s my favourite verse to declare is;
I shall not die, but surely live and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 118:17
Tragedies happen, people die prematurely, faithful prayer warriors battle with ailments for their whole life. Is life mysterious and much of it out of our control? Yes. But do we have a very real responsibility to partner with faith or fear? YES!
I am not saying it is easy, or that I have managed this. But faith pleases God and it comes by HEARING the word. So fill your airwaves this week with the healing word of God and receive life and faith into every cell of your body.
Despite my best attempts at keeping our garden under control, our landlord is not impressed and has had to send in the special forces!
I didn’t think it was THAT bad. Until Terry got to work and I have seen it looking really good! The flower beds are hardly recognisable. I had no idea it could look so good, so clean. Ivy, brambles and other miscellaneous plants had been running wild. I didn’t even know it was possible to uproot some of the things growing there. I had dipped my fingers in, got thoroughly scratched, nearly put my back out with tugging and then backed off!
I think it can be similar with our hearts and thought life. Many of us muddle along for years carrying all sorts of baggage. We don’t realise quite how bad things are until we somehow taste of something different. Sometimes this light is shone by being around someone who is carrying real freedom. Sometimes its after experiencing some deliverance, realising how much lighter you feel and recognising what a heavy load you have been carrying. Sometimes it is by reading the Bible and God using it as a spotlight, to show up the areas where your experience of life is something quite different.
The original I Am So Many Things book of declarations works in a similar way- showing you many things about who God says you are and challenging you to say them aloud. Some will be easy to receive and speak. Others will get stuck in your throat and quickly point you to areas where you have been believing lies. Embrace the pruning phase and don’t be afraid of the declarations that are hard to take. They are just pointers to your next area of freedom and upgrade.
If you want to combine some declarations, reflective journaling challenges and the undiluted word of God, get a copy of our I Am So Many Things Journalling Bible, where you have all of those things in one place.
Let God garden the soil of your heart, pull out the brambles and give you taste of how free you can really be! It is worth the journey.
Do you like how you have been made? Or when you look in the mirror do your eyes scan for the things you wished looked different? Are you happy in your skin? Or are there niggling voices in your head that say ‘if I was more like… I’d be happy’.
Recently when I have been putting our daughter, Esther to bed, she tells me that she loves me and then starts naming all of my body parts that she loves. It starts with understandable things like eyes and nose and then often she moves onto the curveballs, like ‘I love your throat’. Bed time procrastination technique or not, it is incredibly sweet and speaks to me about how God sees and adores us.
He lavishes His love on us, beyond what we are often comfortable to accept. My extended session of body adoration from Esther even makes me squirm a little, with my elbows and eyebrows receiving such high praise. But it is also a beautiful bath in truth- that yes, God has made each part of me intricately and wonderfully and He is worthy to be praised for all of it!
Do you know what God says about you?
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
You are made in His image
You are HIS masterpiece
He did a good job when He made you
He loves you just as you are!
Now that is good news!
Challenge- write these five declarations on your mirror or next to it and read them OUTLOUD every time you look in the mirror this week. Allow yourself that regular bath in God’s truth and delight.
Dom wrote a powerful post on gossip and slander the other day. And in light of I Am So Many Things being all about the power of our words, I thought it was a vital and insightful bit of teaching to share with you all.
Check out what the Bible says about gossip in this encouraging list of 32 scriptures about gossip!
I remember once I was at a Christian singles weekend and this sister started talking about this great looking guy who had arrived recently at church. Another sister piped up about how flakey and unreliable he was. Soon there was a chorus of agreement amongst these girls and this man’s name was being destroyed. I actively confronted the whole group with scripture about the deathly power of our tongues, when left unbridled (Prov 18:21).
I was the only guy amongst about six girls in that part of the house at the time. My heart was beating with nerves but my spirit was filled with unction, godly jealousy and my voice and gaze carried a holy authority. The conversation was shut down and there was a sense of sobriety and contrition. Years later the ring leader of that conversation took me aside and told me how that incident had marked her walk with God. She thanked me earnestly. I thanked God.
We live on a trading floor of words and agreements, filled with spirits, demons and angels, each kingdom looking to work with what we bring to the table. What the leviathan spirit does: it twists words, brings confusion, distortion and makes people hear something that wasn’t said. That spirit, working with the flesh of a hurt individual particularly, will then cause the lying message to be sown as far and wide as possible. This can be a great victory for darkness and evil.
We must shut it down, in Jesus’ name! Guard your tongue, don’t entertain gossip and ideally actively rebuke it (in love), and delight in the fear of the Lord.
Each person is viewing life through a very bespoke lens. They are hearing words through a life of blessings and hurt in varied measure. Each person has an Adamic flesh which lusts unless it is mortified. Gossip is a tasty morsel to the flesh. So is offense. As such, it’s often helpful to reflect back in conversation and even to ask someone what they have heard to keep that lying spirit at bay. Remember, people often remember how they were made to feel more than the actual content, so love covers well in this raging battle field.
Check out what the bible says about gossip in this encouraging list of 32 scriptures about gossip!
20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
1 “Do not spread false reports. Do not help a guilty person by being a malicious witness.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
16 “ ‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people. “ ‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbours life. I am the LORD.
18 Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.
19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
9 With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbours, but through knowledge the righteous escape.
13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
28 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offence, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.
7 All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying.
3 Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
7 The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.
13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.
14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.
10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
11 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.
22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.
32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.
32. Romans 1:29-32
29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,
30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.
32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
Do you know that studies suggest children laugh up to 300 times a day, compared to the average 17 times a day that adults let out a chuckle?!
When I was 18 I entered a competition of Sleeping Lions in Trafalgar Sq that was being organised by a comedy channel, as a big PR stunt to do with this statistic about how little adults laugh. Somehow I managed to win and walked away with the exact amount of money I needed to book my flights and head off on a gap year. God provided in an extraordinary way!!!
Who knows how accurate the figures are, but there is no doubt that children have a propensity towards laughter that seems to get lost as we grow up.
Do you know that Psalm 2 says that God laughs?! ‘He who sits in heaven laughs’ Psalm 2:4. If God can laugh in the face of all that is going on in the world and all that He is carrying, so can we!
We can laugh because we have a good good Father. We can laugh because God holds the whole world in His hands we don’t have to. We can laugh because we are His, He is taking care of us and we are not alone. We can laugh because we are forgiven, washed clean and loved. We can laugh because joy in the midst of trial is truly accessible and glorious. We can laugh because Jesus defeated death and sin on the cross, He has won the ultimate battle and we are on His team!
If you are not on Team Jesus, do get on His side. As without Him as your Lord and Saviour this life and the next are not so funny!
God please help us to laugh again. Help us to let you carry the weight of the world and to trust in you day by day like children, enjoying you and being present to all that is wonderful and funny and beautiful and praiseworthy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you are wanting a good laugh now, please listen to this talk. If you are a mum it is extra funny!
Are you burnt out and weary in your faith? Have you been trying to walk the walk for years and are jaded and wanting to quit? Are you going through the motions but have lost your fire, yearning and zeal for God?
Congratulations for holding on in there, even without all the ‘feels’! But be encouraged that there is so much more available for you. We can have as much of God as we want!
Linked below is a funny and powerful talk from Michael Kulianos, a church leader in Florida. He tells a story about how as a young pastor he was burnt out and discouraged. And after seeing so few people saved or healed he joked to his staff that they should change their church slogan to ‘If you want to stay sick and stay a sinner, we are a church for you’, or call their church ‘Miracle Free Christian Centre’.
He went on a spiritual quest, seeking wisdom from different godly people and they all told him the same thing - ‘You need to meet Jesus’. He was already saved, so didn’t get it. But after multiple times of the same advice, he took it and pursued God with all he had. Sure enough he soon met with God in an extraordinary way and has never been the same again. And now has an enormous church and school, which he says is merely an extension of his personal intimacy with God.
Intimacy with Jesus is what will change us and empower us to walk in a godly way. We cannot do it just by grit and determination of trying to be a ‘good Christian’, without really knowing and loving Jesus. But when we meet with Jesus intimately and regularly we cannot help but be changed.
Lord please remove the complexity from our lives and make it about you again. We want to know and love you and be changed by you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Love Thea x
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Want to dive back into God’s word but don’t know where to start? Our Journalling Bible is a great way to interact with the Bible in a different way, with plenty of space in the margins for drawing, doodling and notes. And little prompts and challenges dotted throughout the pages to get you thinking.
As a Bread community we are moving deeper into prayer. We must have more of the presence and power of God! We have seen a measure of anointing, people have been touched, but it's not enough. Our heart's cry is that people will walk into our premises and like Jacob utter: “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it...How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” (Gen 28).
The upstairs room will be turned into a prayer and worship room and the Bread tagline (Bread "bottled", if you like) is going to become "coffee and prayer". What's bread? It's coffee and prayer. Everyone who comes into Bread will be verbally offered prayer!
Over many years doing outreach on the streets, we have discovered that people are so open to prayer. Whether agnostic, new age, whatever, being offered prayer is a loving, gentle way of serving people and it opens up opportunities to talk, tell the gospel, all sorts. Ultimately it opens up opportunities for God to answer and move upon people, through Jesus Christ, in the wonderful way only He can! More testimonies are going to start flooding in. Jesus is going to get more and more glory and we are going to have a testimony board up in the shop.
Here is one that happened this morning - our first official day of offering prayer to every customer;
Bread has been open now for 4 months. It has got off to a great start, with many testimonies of people being touched by God, a growing community of mums and toddlers who attend the story and singing groups, and many a person saying we serve the best coffee in Yeovil. Wooppee!
We have been meeting as a church there on a Sunday morning and having gorgeous times of worship, as well as spontaneous moments of prayer and worship through the week too.
Now we want to up our game and go to the next level. There is so much that can be done spiritually and physically. On the spiritual side of it, we want Bread to be a real place of prayer. We are consecrating the upper room as a place of prayer.
Working towards it being a 24/7 prayer room. When we first arrived there was a cross imprinted on the carpet, from the shelves that were there previously. An encouraging sign!! This will naturally overflow downstairs, so that customers are walking into an atmosphere of prayer, God’s presence and great blessing and joy. We are also going to be asking all customers if there is anything we can pray for them for, when giving them their coffee.
On the edible side, we are starting to make our own sourdough bread and run bread making courses. We are baking a range of ‘good for your cakes’, to introduce people to the concept of healthy also being delicious. And we are continuing to refine and expand our menu.
We need help! On the practical side, we are refining our processes, systems and business model. There is so much opportunity. We are definitely good visionaries and implememters, but are in search of skilled maintainers and improvers, who like applying themselves to the detail to help something run really well.
If you would love to be part of a kingdom venture, if you love food and drink and would love to be involved in hospitality, if you are passionate about Jesus and the gospel, if you are ready to move to Yeovil and get stuck in, if you think this may be you then get in touch.
If you have got managerial and business skills and think you may be able to take the business side of things to the next level, jump on the many opportunities available, help with the detail, systems, and run a tight but joyful ship, get in touch.
If you are interested in the ministry side and would like to pray behind the scenes and in time, be part of the roving ministry team downstairs, who can give time and attention to customers who are wanting to talk or pray more, this is also an area of need. Get in touch.
What is your default reaction when someone criticises or challenges you? Do you shut off? Do you point out their defects as well? Do you defend yourself? Do you withdraw, feeling like a worthless worm? Do you try to change yourself to please that person? Do you relish feedback, as an opportunity to grow?
How we respond to criticism or feedback is directly rooted in our identity. What we really believe about ourselves. When we believe that we are a worm; not good enough, unlovable, an imposter, or a mistake, criticism can shatter us. Because we don’t hear ‘that action was wrong’, we hear ‘you are wrong’.
However, when we know that we are deeply loved and righteous in Christ (rather than through the moral perfection of our actions), we can embrace feedback and handle criticism, as there is healthy separation between behaviour and identity. Criticism ceases to be so scary and becomes an exciting opportunity to grow.
With our children we try to differentiate behaviour from identity like this; ‘You are a kind boy, but that was not a kind thing to do.’ Or, ‘You are a good girl, but that was not a good thing to do. That is not who you are and not how we expect you to behave’. Rather than ‘you are naughty’ or, ‘you are mean’.
With adults, a helpful tool can be the ‘Hero Sandwich’. Whereby you approach a conflict situation by first telling the person what you love/ celebrate/ respect about them, then raising the issue at hand and then reinforcing what you started with- all of the positives you see in them. This helps people feel more safe and loved when receiving a challenge and more able to receive it rather than go into fight or flight mode.
What tools have most helped you with conflict and handling criticism?
Love Thea x
There is nothing quite like having children to show you the power you have to influence another life. Children are master mimickers, so all of a sudden your behaviour and habits are mirrored back to you, in a sometimes thoroughly uncomfortable way.
Sometimes I hear Redemption ordering Esther around in a way that is rather similar to how I have talked to him at times. It is painful to witness, but when taken to the Lord can be a really helpful opportunity for reflection, repentance and growth.
(Whenever we are showed parts of our character that we don’t really like we should run to the cross. Resist the condemnation that wants to come flooding in. Remember that you are righteous, forgiven, and pleasing to God, through the blood of Jesus. And from that place joyfully repent. Your sin doesn’t make you any less lovable to God. And owning it will only help you to grow and become ever more beautiful and free.)
On the flip side, there are some beautiful things that I have watched our children copy. And that is a glorious encouragement. Hear a sweet story of how Redemption picked most of the flowers in our garden, in an attempt to copy Dom giving me a bunch of flowers.
The power of life and death are in your tongue and you will eat the fruit of it. Use your tongue to set the course of your life and those under your influence on a godly path. Use your words to speak life and truth. Model to your children what it is to speak God’s word over yourself and your circumstances everyday, because they will end up copying you. Seeds sown will not be wasted, even if they seem to be buried for a long time.
Although children are our most avid disciples, this does not apply to parents alone. Flatmates, friends, pupils, others in the workplace, will all be affected by the atmosphere you carry and the overflow of what comes out of your mouth. So wherever you are, speak truth and life.
The mouth speaks out of the overflow of the heart. So words that carry real power are birthed in the heart, not just bolted on externally in an attempt to be holy. But often heart change starts with an intentional decision to change the things that we have been believing and the tape that our tongues have been playing for too long.
This book has been a blessing to many and will be for you too.
Last week, a wonderful birthday weekend spilled into 24 hours away on a Gospel Entrepeneurs gathering. 3 hours driving to get there felt like a retreat all on its own - no snacks to doll out, no fights to break up, no ‘are we nearly there yet’, just silence and space to pray and think. Incredible!
I then joined 48 others for an intensive day of encouragement, teaching, connecting and prayer. It was great to be a part of it and really got the cogs whirring.
My favourite nuggets were;
1. Dream. Most successful businesses start with a dream or a vision. So don’t squash your dreams. But rather listen to your dreams and make time to dream bigger.
2. Fear of failure is a killer. ‘Fail faster to succeed sooner’. Fear of failure can leave us paralysed, like a rabbit in the headlights and we end up doing NOTHING. But if you are willing to just give it a try, be OK with ‘failing’ then you will learn some lessons and be ready to get up, make some tweaks and go again. And will definitely be closer to success than if you haven’t taken a single step.
3. Risk Taking. Willingness to go to the unknown is key with entrepeneurship. You never know unless you go!
4. Passion. A good sign is if you are willing to do what you are dreaming about without being paid. Passion for the dream will provide far more motivation than simply working for a paycheck.
5. Perseverance. Most businesses experience a period of death and fallowness and need to persevere. Don't be shocked if you go through a rough time and it looks like all is lost. It is normal!
5. Plan. Plan well and commit your plans to God. Don't expect God to do all the planning and just tell you what to do. Enter into the process with Him and let Him guide you. It is easier to steer a moving ship. As we plan and move, God can clearly guide, shut doors, open others and change our plans. But it is good to get started and give Him something to work with!
6. Return to the Bible. Finally and most importantly, come running back to Jesus. Munch on Psalm 19:7-14. Be reminded that God and His word is the source of all wisdom and where you will find answers.
God can do extraordinary things through us if we start with the fear of the Lord and godly wisdom.
For all other Jesus-centred entrepeneurs out there, do check out Gospel Entrepeneurs - www.gospelentrepreneurs.org - and see if you can access some help in bringing your dreams to life.
It is so helpful to be connected to others on a similar journey and receive input in the areas you may be feeling stuck or isolated.
Embarrassing confession; last weekend I nearly missed my sister’s baby shower by running out of petrol. Now, not because there wasn’t a service station, but because I missed the first service station (while my dial was already in the red), in the hopes that the next one might have better food options!
My family is quite prone to a little adrenaline rush and part of me was enjoying that little game, of How Low Can You Go? with the fuel gauge! (Anyone else done that?!) Until the heat got too much, I realised I was seriously close to getting myself in a right pickle and I had to take a detour off the road in search of a nearby town.
As I filled the car I remembered a dream a few nights earlier where I had nearly missed a flight, because of trying to track down the best mint choc chip ice cream in the airport!
I think God was trying to tell me something and after some prayer and repentance, I hope I have now learnt my lesson!
How do you make decisions? What are you led by? Worldly wisdom? Your head? Opinions of others? Fear of man? Your stomach? Your heart? Your spirit?
Hearing God’s voice and discerning His will can feel overwhelming and confusing, but the Bible does say that we are his sheep and we do hear his voice. So take solace that God is speaking and He does want to lead and guide you into fullness of life and doing things His way.
We often don’t even know our own motives for doing things. The heart can be deceitful. But just begin to prayerfully invite God into your everyday life and decisions. Pray ‘God, not my will be done, but yours today’ and pray for discernment to know when you are being led by your flesh rather than the Holy Spirit.
Love Thea x
Matthew 16: 24-25
In the countries where you can be killed simply for announcing faith in Christ, taking up your cross is pretty clear. In the West it can be a bit more ambiguous, but the call is nonetheless urgent and real.
I am also reading an extraordinary biography called A Way Beyond Death, by Jemimah Wright (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Beyond-Death-Infanticide-International/dp/1576584305).
It tells the mind-boggling story of a couple who minister to unreached tribes in the Amazon, learning their language to translate the Bible for them. For starters, the tribe wear no clothes and on day 1, the wife had all of her clothes stripped from her and was thrown into the deep end of nakedness. I am sure for many, that would be taking up their cross right there!
What tasks cause you to procrastinate most? For me, it is sometimes the big creative projects that I really want to do, but don’t know where to start and other times it is the drearily dull admin necessities like changing my driving license address!
Both can elicit a dragging of the heels which is so counter productive. The lie is that 'life is easier if I avoid said task'. The truth is that 'there
is freedom and satisfaction in facing and overcoming the things that daunt or fill us with dread'.
The bigger truth is that the safest place is in the centre of God’s will. So if God has asked something of you - whether that be moving to a certain country or simple sending a particular email - wisdom is to get on and do it, without delay or double mindedness.
Today’s declaration is I AM SURRENDERED TO GOD’S WILL
There is no better model than Jesus, who only did what He saw the Father doing. And when push came to shove He surrendered His will to God’s. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus cried out ‘if there is any other way, please take this cup from me’ (Luke 22:42). He knew what God has asked of Him and he was desperate for a way out. But after that deep heart cry, where did he return?…
‘Yet not my will but yours be done’.
Let that be our heart cry today. Whatever situation comes to mind, where maybe you have been resisting God’s will, or not even daring to ask, surrender it to the Father today and ask for His will to be done above your own.
Those who lose their life for Christ truly find it. Surrender everything to Jesus today and you will gain far more in return.
Let all of the festivites this weekend serve to remind you that you are royalty! You are a beloved child of the King of Kings; the ultimate ruler, whose kingdom has no end.
I wonder whether King Charles feels ready to be king, or whether he feels overwhelmed and ill equipped. Maybe even like an imposter. Either way, the crown is going on his head and that’s that, his feelings don’t really matter!
So it is with you and me. We are children on the King. We have been given a new identity in Christ and He says we are loved, precious, known, made in His image and overcomers, even when we don’t feel like it.
Furthermore, you have a job to rule and reign. God has given you authority to heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead, bind up the broken hearted, proclaim liberty to the captives and to preach His gospel. He says you CAN do it, even if you don’t feel like it. And He wants to use you, even if you feel useless.
So let every crown you see this weekend serve as a reminder of your true identity. Take your place as royalty in God’s family. Remember who you really are and from that place love and serve those around you, like the servant king whose image we bear.
I am a child of God
I am adopted into God’s royal family
I am a royal priest
I am called to rule and reign
I have authority in the spiritual realms
I can speak to mountains and say ‘be levelled into the sea’
My words, prayers and declarations are powerful and effective
HORACE: ‘Habit is a cable. We weave a thread of it each day and at least we cannot break it.’
What do you think about this one? Do you agree or disagree?
What habits are strongest in your life? What do you repeatedly do without even thinking about it?
When I read this quote I found it encouraging regarding the good habits that we build in life, such as brushing our teeth or making our bed, that hopefully wont be easily broken. But pretty scary and hopeless regarding bad habits that have built up over a lifetime.
Are there bad habits or thought patterns that seem really hard to shake? Maybe they have repeated generation upon generation.
To a certain extent I agree with Horace. It is blooming difficult to break a habit alone, that has been built slowly and deeply over much time. However the GOOD NEWS, is that with Jesus all things are possible!
He is the great Restorer and Redeemer, who came to set the captives free and give us a new mind, identity and a fresh start. So take heart, God is in the business of making ALL THINGS NEW!
It is true that it may not be easy, or a quick-fix, but my journey with the Lord has been one of continual and joy-filled repentance. As bit by bit, God has transformed many areas of my heart and life through the renewing of my mind. And He will do the same for you.
Take some time today to write down any habits that you are aware of that you know aren’t pleasing to God. Ask for God’s forgiveness and for willingness to let these old habits go and walk in a new way. What would a new way look like for you?
Simultaneously start a new and edifying habit today of declaring God’s truth out loud over yourself. Let this build over time to be the cable in your life that is not easily broken.
If you aren’t sure what declarations to say, start with;
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Don’t you think life would be so much easier if all your ducks were in a row, things were under control and predictable, and money was never a issue?!
Sometimes I wish life were easy. But I have realised recently that ‘easy’ isn’t where true life is. Trusting Jesus is where full, abundant, joy-filled, peaceful life is. And that can be in the midst of things that are far from easy!
I have also had the stark and freeing reminder that Jesus didn’t die to make our life ‘work’, He died that we may become like Him and learn to love in every situation. When we give our lives to Jesus we give up our rights to life our way, our rights, our agenda. All of that dies with Christ, and then we rise again with Him, as new creations, washed, forgiven, with a God-given identity, power and authority. The latter is way better than the former. Its a total upgrade, but are we willing to let go of control?
Those who try and hold onto their lives will lose them. But those who surrender all to Jesus and follow Him will gain everything. (Matthew 16:25) Its a topsy turvy kingdom and a great adventure. But it ain’t easy!
My prayer for us all this week is that we embrace trusting and relying on God rather than fighting against it. It is a blessing to need to rely on God, not a curse. It is an invitation into fullness of life!
God, we are sorry for trying to control everything. Forgive our restless and fearful ways and help us trust you like children again. Amen.
Do your children put each other down? I remember being so cutting with my siblings when I was young. Unaware of quite how powerful my words were.
Our children are in the poo phase, when the biggest insult and funniest jokes are all poo related. Luckily it is pretty mild as far as insults go, but life and death are in the power of their tongues too and if they can learn now how to use their words for good, they will save themselves and others a whole lot of hurt and will become little salty, light ones.
Here are some ideas for how to get your family, youth group or church to use their words to encourage and build each other up;
1. If you hear them saying unkind things to each other, their punishment can be saying THREE KIND THINGS.
We have been trying this recently. If we catch our children being mean to each other, they have a couple of minutes time out until they are ready to come back and say three kind things. It is so sweet watching our son say to our daughter ‘I love you. You have a pretty dress. You look after your dolls well’. And watching her little smile light up.
The great thing about this is that it exercises the muscle of speaking truth over each other and normalises it. We help them along with ideas of kind things to say and soon they get the idea. Often when they are being mean it is a misplaced cry for connection anyway, so when that connection is found through being kind instead and watching the other ones heart melt, it is a win win.
2. Playing audio declarations
I recently recorded a full read through of I Am So Many Things and put it on a little player that the children have in their room. They listen to the declarations as they fall asleep and surprise surprise, they are learning them. Seeing our three year old saying ‘I am God’s masterpiece’ is too sweet for words! If you would like to use this audio version in your home, find it here. Or you can make up your own set of declarations for your children.
3. I love you because…
We have a family tradition, that on someone’s birthday, everyone goes around the table and tells that person why they love them. ‘I love you because…’ It can feel awkward and clunky at first, especially for the very British amongst us. But it is ALWAYS the recipient’s best birthday present. It is incredibly powerful and so much fun. Be warned, tears often begin to flow! So many of us are walking around with a total deficit in our Lovetanks and True Identity tanks and this is a great way to fill someone up. Worth recording it on your phone for the person too, as its great to listen back to later.
4. Declaration roulette
Have the I Am So Many Things book at your kitchen table and let it become part of your daily life. Maybe it’s a declaration a day that you read out at breakfast or before supper a different person gets to pick one at random. Then once you have a few under your belt, play this game;
One person starts by saying an ‘I am’ declaration, and it carries on going around the circle until you run out. The challenge is to not be the one to break the flow. So the more decs you have under your belt the longer you can go. Making things a game always help to learn these declarations and get used to saying them in a far less stuffy, or self conscious way.
Variations on the game are going around the circle saying kind things about one person until you run out and then you move to the next person and do the same and so on.
5. Declaration tennis
Similar to above, but you bounce declarations and words of encouragement across the circle by saying ‘You are…’ while looking someone in the eye. They then ‘pass the ball’ by bouncing a declaration on to someone else. This is great, as people can tailor make words of encouragement for a specific person and get used to building each other up.